Friday, 18 November 2011

Day 35 - afternoon

Entry later than usual due to preceding events.

Came down just before lunch to answer knock at door, only to find rather disheveled man on doorstep asking if he could speak to "'er inside".  Thought this most frightening, said no he bally well couldn't, and shut door in his face and locked it fast.  Looked out of window and saw him storming down the drive.  Still saw police car outside house opposite and turned to use the telephone to ring the police, only to have Miss Marple pull phone from my hand saying she didn't want to bother them most insistently.

After a few moments pacing decided action had to be taken, and having unlocked front door ventured to see if I could see disheveled man.  Miss Marple looked out too, and when happy it was safe suggested I go across to suspicious old couple to get help.  Said this a wise decision, and she was to lock herself inside until I returned.  Plan agreed I had another look around and when sure the coast was clear made a bolt for it.

Looked around nervously as I rang the bell at the suspicious old couple, bound to say heart was pounding.  Imagine surprise as door opened to find disheveled man standing there, looking in utmost annoyance.  Barely managed to utter "I say, what the devil..." when he grabbed my shirt and dragged me into the house.  At this point thought my days were distinctly numbered, and seeing old couple standing inside too thought they must be in on some awful plan.

"What are you doing, you idiot?!" uttered disheveled man, later found to be Police Sergeant Brooks.  "Do you realise harbouring a criminal is an offence?"  Replied with "I say, what..." managing less words than previous, and as Sergeant let go of my shirt, explained that Miss Marple, known to the Force as 'The Neighbourhood Watcher', was burglar that prayed on well meaning people that let her into their homes allowing her to spy on neighbours that she could later burgle.  Exclaimed this was quite preposterous but having seen Brooks' identification suggested he could come over to my house where she was waiting "in fear of her life".

Old couple as usual watched across street as the Sergeant and I stalked across to my house.  I knocked on door quite politely, in most odd situation of asking to be let into my own home.  No answer came and door, and looking through lounge window saw no sign of The Neighbourhood Watcher.  Looking more closely saw mantle clock missing and exclaimed to Sergeant that perhaps he might be correct.  Bounded to rear of house to find the old woman stood on wheelie bin attempting to scale fence.  Sergeant approached and before had time to take hold she was gone!

Sergeant in height of annoyance turned on me saying I had "aided and abetted" and had better take a trip to the station.  Thought this highly unreasonable, but did not argue on account of shutting door in Sergeant's face initially.  After some difficult questions thankfully escaped charge, however, told if I see her again not to apprehend but call police immediately and "not be such an idiot next time".

Always thought she was a rum old woman.

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