Thursday, 8 December 2011

Day 49 - lunch

Quite unable to concentrate on work due to necessity to remove superfluous tree from property, mid-morning set about a plan to get rid of the thing.  Decided quite the best plan was to see what neighbours did not have a tree up already and offer it to them.

This plan proved quite sensible in that could quite easily see one or two neighbours with trees already in front window, and deduced from that they would not be interested.  Unfortunately plan let down somewhat by some neighbours having trees not as prominently displayed.  As such two neighbours quite rude when had suggested to them would they be interested in a Christmas tree, only to be told they already had one, thank you very much.  As such plan came to an abrupt end when looking through front window of somewhat farther away house caused housewife to get fright of her life, and screamed as loud as she could that she was going to call the police, adding that if I was "looking for trouble", I would get it.  Quite unprepared for this, said calmly as possible that was not in any way looking for "trouble", and was merely attempting to sell Christmas tree.  This message quite ignored on account of being on telephone.

Followed yet another run-in with Sergeant Brooks, possibly busiest policeman in all England, with explanation that was in no way intending harm, merely doing the neighbourly thing in Christmas spirit.  Sergeant and housewife entirely unconvinced with this, but Sergeant laid concerns to rest saying,
"Sherlock here is a bit...", and making gesture of one who is mentally ill, and housewife nodding haid retreated to safety.  At this point Sergeant said "right, let's see this tree" and proceeded to follow me home.

Now know why police are called the "Force", with Sergeant making great fist of haggling on tree price, evidently in market for one for police station.  Sergeant said he "didn't give two hoots" when explained about awful difficulty getting tree, and some deal of spray on snow still attached.  Eventually agreed on 20 pounds for tree, almost a third of original cost.  Concluded dealing saying
"Thanks Sherlock, and no scaring any more neighbours."  Tree thankfully now removed from property and in back of police car.

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