Friday, 9 December 2011

Day 50 - lunch

Certain boss has been sent into this world to mock me.  No sooner had he stepped through front door had he made comment about decorations saying,
"I hope father Christmas wears sunglasses this year!".

Taking this as quite the compliment, and despite strict instructions otherwise, Mrs Payne peeked around kitchen door, saying, "Why thank you, young man!".

Thinking this altogether unreasonable, simply uttered "Mrs Payne!" but quite too late to avoid cataclysm.  Boss quickly responded, with,
"Smith, I didn't know your sister had come to stay", and before I knew it boss and Mrs Payne were sat around fire having a quite profoundly jolly time.

In attempt to steer conversation away from flirtations quite unbecoming a woman Mrs Payne's age, suggested to boss we talk about work, at which had reply of,
"How about some tea, Smith?  There's a good man.".
Quite furious by this, stalked into kitchen and set about making tea, was quite certain no biscuits would be provided, a particular penchant of Mrs Payne's.

Returned short time later to jolly time being had, and having set down tea tray was forced to endure further humilation as boss said,
"I say Bitty, you must have a rotten time of it here!  Tea provided with not a solitary crumb of biscuit!  I say Smith, won't you see about some meagre crumbs for Bitty and I?".

At this stalked back into kitchen feeling quite profoundly not in Christmas spirit.  Here I was in very own home with two guests, one staying thankfully shorter than other, and being treated like common waiter.  Dared not bring out cheap biscuits on account of possible reprisal, so opened a brand new tin had been saving until Christmas.

Proceeded to watch while "Bitty" and boss scoffed significant portion of biscuit tin, whilst talking like long lost friends.  By this point had quite given up attempting business related conversation, and had instead turned to crossword in newspaper.

After some time of warmest conversation, was told by boss that he had best be getting back to the office, with barely a word spoken about work related subjects.  Took opportunity to take tea tray into kitchen and upon returning was handed a Christmas card by boss.  At this he called me a devil for not having told me Mrs Payne was staying and embarrassing him in not bring a Christmas card, but not to worry, he would bring one back seeing as Mrs Payne had invited him to dinner tonight.  Quite horrified at this, was bid farewell by boss in stunned silence.

...

Hard to believe I have written 50 days of my diary!

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