Supermarket positively stuff earlier when going to find something for Christmas dinner. Made mistake of taking shopping basket, which meant weaving through people practically impossible. Got to fresh meat aisle to find not a solitary morsel on the shelves. Asked disinterested customer assistant (as they are diplomatically called now, judging by name badge) whether they would be expecting more and received irritating response of "not likely mate". Thought this utmost rudeness and indignantly walked off.
Frozen meat aisle proved equally unfruitful with freezer after freezer baron of all but a few stray peas and frost. Becoming more depressed by the minute carried on, managing finally to find a packet of two turkey fillets in breadcrumbs, a most horrible notion for Christmas dinner, but by far the best that could be done. For Mrs Payne went and retrieved a tin of turkey mince also. At least someone would be happy with Christmas dinner.
Was in a most depressed mood waiting in enormous queue at checkout with my meagre items, and making matters worse boss happened upon me. Quite unsure as how to explain being out during work hours made some vague notion of a late lunch. Thankfully boss seemed not a bit interested in this. Unfortunately by means of conversation making, boss looked down at my basket and asked about the turkey-based items. Too depressed to make up a story, told him they were for Christmas dinner. Boss most taken back, exclaimed,
"Good GOD, Smith! Things must have hit rock bottom at your place! Are we not paying you enough?".
At this, several shoppers turned around and proceeded to stare first at shopping basket then at me. Frightfully embarrassed and thankfully boss made his excuses and went in search of cranberry sauce.
Mrs Payne positively delighted with shopping when I arrived home. Ever so fearful of other half's reaction.