On earlier subject of clowns, appears library have quite circus act of their own. In going to library to return book librarian begged my pardon, but would I be returning other book I had borrowed? Explained I had borrowed but a single book, and furthermore most displeased on "short loan" service. Two days quite ridiculous. Librarian replied reason for short loan service was quite the late return of book in question.
In effort to straighten out situation handed back "Introduction to Dominoes" and said that was only book I had borrowed. Further, had now necessary proof of identity such that could get proper library card. Apparently application for library card quite impossible seeing as other book had not yet returned, and due to short loan nature of book had outstanding fine of 5 pounds. Said this altogether ridiculous, could jolly well buy the book, whatever it may be, for that. At this librarian took omission to guilt and made renewed demand for money.
Quite furious at this made enquiries as to who was in charge here, at which two other librarians awoke from their dilly dallying and said "we all are". Made some further endeavour as to one being more senior, but fell quite on deaf ears as they were all senior librarians. At this, Mr News shuffled over, adding to conversation,
"he's trouble this one". Librarians gave nod of acknowledgement.
Ventured to ask what the name of the book was that was outstanding, and informed it was "Domino Strategy". Said I had never seen the book and furthermore had not loaned it. Librarian, looking at computer said "the system" disagreed.
With no choice other than blacklisting from one's local library, paid the 5 pounds and furiously completed the application for library card. Handed it in positively shaking, declared the situation "daylight robbery" and stalked out of the place.