Made some effort to get to library early this morning on account of making transaction as to return of book as quiet as possible. Was informed that librarian was terribly sorry, but it was other librarian that could deal with this issue when she arrived later. Queried as to all librarians being equal, and was informed terribly sorry but could not help. As such, had some time to kill and happened upon plan.
Sat myself at table where newspapers usually laid out, thinking this awfully clever as to getting one up on Mr News. Sitting in the head news chair I waited, reading the book being returned for other half.
After some time Mr News came in, evidently early also to prepare himself for newspapers and an audience with his news underlings. Glanced up from my book to see him quite furious at my presence, and smiling politely returned to my book.
Heard Mr News having some cross words with librarian incapable of return queries, and thought this quite having won the battle.
In effort to set up new camp Mr News sat down at a nearby table, as I wondered if he had arranged alternative site for newspapers with librarian. Quite content at this disruption in itself and also at other half's choice in dominoes book, really quite clever in its explanation.
Various news underlings came in and quite confused at which camp to be affiliated with proceeded to split themselves between my table and Mr News'. Decided to rise above this ridiculous feud and continued to read book, soon to be returned in replacement of 5 pounds. Should Mr News' underlings decide to defect, that was entirely their own business.
After some nervous waiting another librarian came in and having taken off her coat proceeded to bring over newspapers, dropping a quite considerable majority of them on my table, and seeing the obvious division of ranks, placed the remaining few on Mr News' table. At this several of my borrowed underlings stirred as to newspapers being distributed, at which I looked among my men and stated with authority,
"Gentlemen, have whatever newspapers you like!" and proceeded to get up and leave the table with a gasp from all.
Pleased as punch at this development went over to the librarian desk and made case for return of 5 pounds as book had been found, borrowed by wife unbeknown to me. This explanation taken in utmost bad nature by librarian but on sheer account of my good mood following victory over Mr News, agreed to reduce fine to the late return instead of missing book. Took this as no small feat in itself and happily walked from the library with Mr News looking on furiously in my wake.