Pleased with progress this morning and went down at 10 o'clock for tea to find Mrs Payne crouching over coffee machine inspecting its workings. Jumped quite considerably as I asked would she like some tea. Replies yes she would, and following me into kitchen made enquiries as to coffee machine and whether she would be able to make herself coffee should she wish.
Replied swiftly that really coffee machine awfully complicated to use and probably not suited for someone her age. Would she like some instant coffee? Took some exception to comment about "her age" and looked deeply disappointed by barring from coffee machine. Feeling generous on account of progress with work said I could make us both coffee. Mrs Payne most pleased with this, said I was terribly clever.
Abandoning tea making, popped into lounge to to see about coffee and asked Mrs Payne to bring the coffee and cups. Doing so she set the items down and stepped back as one in anticipating of a lit firework.
Spent some considerable time looking at machine, and upon manoeuvring various levers realised could barely remember how to work the machine. Mrs Payne after some moments asked if perhaps instructions would be useful, but said this highly unnecessary, man and machine were at one. Most exasperated with reply, "one what?".
Finally set machine into motion and stepped back to admire the workings. This cut rather short by distinct smell of burning and rushed to turn machine off, with Mrs Payne querying whether problem with coffee beans. Inspecting machine realised had forgotten important aspect, asked Mrs Payne would she be so good as to fill container with water?
Water container now filled set machine into motion once more, and explained that would see quite some action this time. Heard familiar gurgling and most shocked to see stream of water appear from nozzle in between cups falling straight onto tray and then onto floor. Swiftly moved cup to side to catch liquid, and watched with concern as it filled first one cup and then the other with nothing but hot water and not a jot of coffee.
Quite perplexed by this handed Mrs Payne cups, who after some consideration added, "they're a bit weak?".
Suggested must be some fault with machine and perhaps we should have tea now and try again later. Also, would she be so kind as to bring a mop?