Friday, 24 February 2012

Day 100

Had fearful afternoon yesterday and altogether anxious about it still.

Came downstairs mid-afternoon for tea saw not a sign of Mrs Payne, and found Miss Broom the cleaner in kitchen.  Made tea and asked if she would like one.  Replied that she already had one, holding up mug.  Said I was awfully surprised Mrs Payne had her tea, and further, where was she?  At this seeming rather annoyed Miss Broom said she was in downstairs toilet, and would she be long, as was waiting to clean it.  Said I didn't have faintest idea, but could offer biscuit in meantime.  In this regard opened biscuit tin and again found it missing best biscuits, leaving awful plain ones.  Ashamedly offered these, bluntly turned down as not liking them.  Took one myself by means of consolation.  Nibbled in despondently.

Returning upstairs to office found fresh drip on good sherry bottle in lounge.  Most annoyed about this, assumed Mrs Payne must have had sneaky glass, but looking at bottle saw quantity missing.

Knocked on downstairs toilet and asked if Mrs Payne was alright.  Received nonchalant response in positive, followed by "oof!" on account of toe.  Assumed this in order, went back to office.

Shocked some time later to hear some loud and awfully cross words coming from downstairs, followed by scream from Mrs Payne.  Rushed downstairs to find both Mrs Payne and Miss Broom in downstairs toilet, and quite some argument ensuing.  Stepped in to calm situation and found Mrs Payne accusing Miss Broom of walking in on her in toilet.  This affirmed by Miss Broom as quite necessary due to time taken in bathroom and "not having all day".  Mrs Payne vigorously defended this saying she was doing crossword.  Miss Broom absolutely outraged, said at awful volume it was "a toilet not a bloody library".  Mrs Payne almost beetroot with rage and shaking to calm herself said slowly that her poor toe had been stood on viciously by Miss Broom and measures would have to be taken.

Stopped Miss Broom before another verbal onslaught and suggested we move into lounge, as toilet quite unfit for discussion.  At this Miss Broom proceeded to barge through door, again standing on Mrs Payne's toe.  This resulted in scream of prodigious volume down my ear, and Mrs Payne in fearful rage proceed to push Miss Broom, resulting in awful tussle.  Separated the ladies at which Miss Broom loosed her mug and splashed quantity of red liquid all over my white shirt.  Realised in an instant this was my best sherry.

This proved altogether too much, and in fearful act of confidence said Miss Broom hereby sacked, and would she be so kind as to leave.  This taken rather badly, called Mrs Payne an "old bag", proceed to splash remainder of sherry over my shirt and stormed out, mug still in hand.

Door slammed with Mrs Payne and I left in stunned silence.  Mrs Payne hobbling to sit down uttered quietly, "thank you, Robert", and sat down with a little "oof!".

Replied it was quite alright, and further, that was her mug.

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