Went out mid-morning on account of complaint about lack of paper. Woman in shop most apologetic, said paper boy awfully forgetful at times. Suggested this not most useful trait in paper boy. Said she agreed. In any event, could certainly make a proper complaint, promptly shouted "David!" into rear of shop. Said I'd like to jolly well box David's ears on account of trouble.
David altogether displeased to hear about boxing of ears. Said he had not owned newspaper shop for 30 years to have ears boxed by customer. Explained certainly meant paper boy not him. Also displeased to hear wanted to box ears of his son.
Following number of words about politeness presently gave me newspaper in person, and headed home. Will be fearfully careful about complaining next time.
Most annoyed to get home and find boss already arrived. Seemed to be having most jolly time with Mrs Payne and said she had explained I had "shirked off like usual". Gave her fearful glare. Laughed in response. Boss said further that he had most interesting talk with Mrs Payne, and would have to come around more often.
Gave Mrs Payne newspaper by way of distraction and finally got to talking about work project, a poster design for local business. Had barely a minute before Mrs Payne returned with newspaper saying was terribly sorry to interrupt, but did I know paper was from last week? We already had one, and had I not checked date? Furious about this, said no I had not. Mrs Payne most disappointed. Said she would do the crossword anyway.