Most excited this morning to see local newspaper with my advert as such planned trip to shop before breakfast to pick up copy. In leaving house found copy of Times on door mat, most odd with cancellation as previous. Thought this likely stupid paper boy and rather than argument as to not paying for it took paper with me by way of return.
Arriving at shop had strict instructions from other half not to look at advert until was back at house, so picked up newspaper and most unfortunate to find rather abrasive shop owner at till. Handed over both newspapers with explanation that had not requested Times, and furious to hear paper had been delivered "as requested". Said this positive nonsense, and would certainly not be paying for it, now returned. Had fearful argument on this, principally owing to charge of delivery. Said if paper boy had delivered newspapers previously would not be in dispute in first place. Received reply that clearly did not like newspapers from this shop, as such would be happy not to supply them. At this proceeded to take both newspapers behind till and that concluded business.
Quite furious at this, as stalking from shop now had to walk to alternate shop some distance away, as too far to go back for car just to drive. Got home sweating with rather fast walking but diligently holding local newspaper with advert, as yet unseen.
Entered house and most annoyed to find other half had already left for work. As such would now have to hold on to newspaper unopened until lunchtime, as was having half day. Sat down at breakfast table to catch breath and start on toast.
Mrs Payne seeming most interested asked where was newspaper. Explained had got it from alternate shop, as nearby shop altogether out of favour, and had agreed not to open it until other half was home. At this Mrs Payne begged my pardon, but rather, where was Times? Queried as to how did she know we received Times, and shocked to hear was because she had ordered it. Had difficult task of explaining had taken newspaper and promptly delivered back to shop, with fearful argument as to not wanting it. Mrs Payne most incensed by this, and shaking proceeded to query did local newspaper have crossword? Replied gravely it did not. After some moments said I'd get my car keys.