Still awfully annoyed about events last night at dinner, but will recount all the same by way of therapy.
Went to check on roast, most amused at Mrs Payne's cracker filled cheeks. Having removed piece of cracker from wine glass carefully removed roast pot from over and positively horrified to find dish entirely cold. Inspected oven to find machine set correctly to "Oven", however temperature set to "0 C". Realised in instant that in fluster of Mrs Payne had turned on over but not set temperature. As such fan happily whirred away whilst dinner altogether uncooked.
Returning with wine glass had unfortunate task of explaining entree would require a little longer. This declared quite acceptable by all. Other half queried as to how much longer. Replied two hours.
By this time all rather hungry, and Horseface such that ate small crumbs of cracker that landed on plate whilst she thought no one watching. Decided had best serve dessert, and pleased to say this altogether more successful. All cheered up rather, and conversation began in earnest with addition of more wine.
Whilst eating most shocked as to Horseface bringing up advert in newspaper. Said she thought it jolly good work and most amused as to rather shoddy design turned in, as husband had mentioned it. Went on that really I was awfully clever. Attempt to divert subject to dessert altogether unsuccessful, and Mrs Payne begged her pardon, but would find that design altogether hers. Followed most uncomfortable conversation as to Horseface saying I had declared design as my own, whilst Mrs Payne, furious at this flagrant injustice stormed into lounge. Returning some moments later, apologised at design sketch being crumpled, as had sat on it again, but most adamant that all see it was her design. In utmost rage and rather purple in complexion shook as called me a "charlatan". Said I'd check on roast and thought it wise to bring back more wine.
Eventually ate roast, and ended evening well, despite Mrs Payne keeping design sketch on her person at every opportunity. Explained after Horseface and boss left that was terribly sorry about mix-up. In any case, still had the 500 pounds. Further, when would I get money for her caviare on toast?