Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Day 113 - lunch

Pleased to say regained entry to own home, although not without considerable difficulty.

Returned home and stood in flower bed, again looking at Mrs Payne in lounge, now perfectly asleep, still wearing oven mitts and tea cosy on head with it lolling from side to side with her slumber.  Evidently feet were cold previous, as had pillow case up each leg.

Most annoyed as carpet slippers now awful mess and quantity of soil had stuck to fabric.  Thought this terribly bad design and contemplated taking back to department store.

After some banging on window decided was positively impossible to rouse Mrs Payne from sleep, decided would check downstairs windows for entry.  This proved rather more successful, found little window to downstairs toilet open.  Window altogether too small to get through, but shouted rather loud to wake Mrs Payne.  This again altogether unsuccessful, however in trying to get arm through window managed to knock large bowl of pot-pourri onto floor, making fearful bang, and thankfully not breaking.

With this was sure Mrs Payne would hear, and as door opened was ready to make my demands for entry before altogether slipping on wall and scuffing carpet slippers awfully.  Mrs Payne, assuming this disturbance one of burglary nature, provided some fearfully sharp words, and as I attempted to regain position at window was met with sink plunger jabbing me in face.  Furious at this, fell down again.  Mrs Payne, not quite complete in her endeavours proceeded to jab sink plunger out of window further at jaunty angles, at which proceeded to grab plunger in fearful rage and shouted to jolly well let me in.

Mrs Payne quivered, said she was calling police, and regaining window managed to see her shuffle out of toilet only to fall flat on face with an "oof!" on account of layers of clothing.  Bound to say this struggle awfully comical as Mrs Payne attempted to get to feet to call police.  Proceeded to shuffle rather like tortoise on back, altogether incapable of useful movement.  Thankfully managed to call to Mrs Payne in slightly calmer voice, and recognising me set about righting herself to let me in.  Some minutes later and with home strewn with layers of clothing and kitchen items, came to door to let me in, terribly hot and wearing only her crumpled dress.  Handed her plunger in much annoyance.

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