Had most productive morning in town, and now quite certain as to having gift for other half.
Sought out cake shop with Mrs Payne awfully slow regards walking. Got to shop with great level of annoyance from Mrs Payne and huffing and puffing. Cheered up as was offered cake samples, however. Suggested with each sample that could add another tier to cake. Said this rather excessive for birthday. Mrs Payne most disappointed.
Left Mrs Payne to own devices to get her own gift, declaring would only spend "a pound or two". Promptly went to jewellers and found terribly nice locket with room for two little tiny photos. Thought this most clever as could have photo of me, and less clever, of Mrs Payne. Secured locket and said would pick it up tomorrow with engraving. Explained would like "To my wife" on back.
Presently found Mrs Payne back in cake shop, and bound to say took some encouragement to leave yet more cake sampling. Explained to shop owner that Mrs Payne certainly NOT looking for golden wedding cake, as was widow. Owner promptly took samples a way. Mrs Payne stormed out of shop in much annoyance saying would certainly not be frequenting store after such rudeness.
Set about getting photos taken at local gallery for locket, Mrs Payne most perplexed at this. Queried how could get photos so small. Explained was all on computer these days. Mrs Payne said she didn't like thought of photo whizzing around the world, and would people in China be looking at her photo? Most exasperated by this. Further, Mrs Payne asked photographer if he had any photos from China on his tabletop computer. Said with regret he didn't.
Coming out of gallery saw Horseface cantering past, and pleased to see had completely missed us. Most annoyed to find Mrs Payne bellowing out at some volume, "Coooeee!", and had just finished providing quite some sharp words on calling over Horseface, when promptly arrived. Horseface explained was terribly glad to see us, and did we have any ideas for birthday gift for other half. Said we positively didn't, with obligatory comments about "usual tat".
Asking as to business in gallery, Mrs Payne promptly answered about locket. Most annoyed about this as would like to be surprise for all. Horseface thought this altogether hilarious, and in fits of laughter said that when the locket was closed our two photos would be kissing! At this Mrs Payne explained, "Oh I say!". Furious at this, replied thought positively horrifying.