Had fearful trouble keeping secret for birthday, as had arranged for boss and Horseface to come around unexpectedly after dinner. As such had arranged with Mrs Payne to make altogether little fuss of other half's birthday beforehand.
Were both altogether shocked as other half came home early, and further that Mrs Payne only just finished icing cake, with myself supervising. With terribly keen reactions promptly picked up cake and hid in rarely used cupboard, and grabbing icing bag, shoved it in draw, with quite a quantity of icing oozing out. Mrs Payne, with large sheet of card that had practice icing on, tottered around kitchen quivering with panic, before attempting to shove card into washing machine. This moving altogether difficult on account of size, in a last moment of panic placed it neatly on kitchen chair, proceeded to sit on it.
Went to greet other half and wished her happy birthday again. Had arranged that present altogether delayed, and as such other half rather disappointed. Had only received a pair of socks from Mrs Payne, true to her word of only spending a pound of two.
Whilst other half taking off coat quietly rushed to kitchen to find Mrs Payne investigating state of dress, and bound to say icing positively covering posterior. Suggested could sneak upstairs in meantime and change dress on account of being too cold. Mrs Payne said with dismay that would not only be dress, icing had soaked through.
Kept other half in lounge whilst Mrs Payne made her escape and said I would be making dinner. Mrs Payne returned several minutes later to help, with terribly stories of icing. Comment as to bottom "still feeling gooey" all too much.
Will write more later.