Positively furious this morning as stalked out to drive once builders had arrived to give some quite sharp words regards skip, and hang the consequences. This taken with abundant lack of concern, said would telephone skip company regards moving it, and to "keep my shirt on". Replied certainly WAS keeping my shirt on, and would appreciate this sooner the better. Builder said would telephone now. Further, could he use our telephone?
Skip truck arrived some time later, said was terribly sorry, this was address given, further, did I not want the skip? Said I jolly well did not, as quite obviously had not ordered it, and could jolly well move the thing. This duly agreed to, and followed positively ridiculous activity like children's puzzle, where first skip already on truck was removed, only to allow empty skip to be moved, before putting it back. Waited with arms crossed on drive with awfully stern look whilst this carried out. Truck driver said not to worry, would be awfully quick about it, enlisted help of builders regards direction.
Pleased to say skip presently removed from drive. Truck slowly lifted skip, and with single movement proceeded to move from one drive to next. This rather less successful, as deciding not to set skip upon truck first, drove around directly, causing profound noise in bashing skip against truck, and with much shouting from builders, promptly loosed skip onto fence between houses, and further, our flowerbed. Not content with single fence panel being dislodged, sheer power of skip caused quite ripple effect, as one by one wooden post fence gave way, as entire fence fell sideways from front of house to back.
Looked down drive in silence to see destruction. Fence panels lay like dominoes, with fence posts remaining at angles of varying jaunt. Towards back garden panels lay precariously against various bushes and flowers. Mrs Payne peeped out of front door, exclaiming,
"Watch out for the flower bed!". Too furious to reply to this, and as skip was lifted once more to reveal flower bed, now positively two dimensional in appearance, exclaimed to all present,
"What the DEVIL is THIS!".
Builders most dismissive, said was certainly not their fault, and very inconvenient - now couldn't get down drive on account of fence panels. Could I "sort of out"? Said most certainly could NOT "sort it out", further, had better jolly well get this fixed or would be ringing police!
Stalked back into house in absolute fury, passing Mrs Payne on way in. Sat down in my armchair, usually frequented by Mrs Payne, staring at carpet with intense anger. Mrs Payne commented carelessly,
"I see the skip is moved then. Were we going to the coffee shop?".
After some silent minutes replied,
"I'll get my coat".