Most annoyed to come down for mid-morning tea to find Mrs Payne having dragged chair from window, now occupying space usually for opening of kitchen door. Explaining this to Mrs Payne, received reply that hadn't noticed, and was sure door could be opened successfully. Demonstrated problem by opening door 12 inches, promptly stopped by armchair. This clearly most incredible, Mrs Payne uttering,
"Well I never!".
Suggestion to move chair back to window declared positively impossible, as Mrs Payne "could barely move the thing". Replied had done good job in moving it FROM the window. This duly explained as achieved by propping two legs on wheeled serving cart and scooting armchair across floor. Also, by the by, did I know serving cart was broken?
Positively furious by this, Mrs Payne changed conversation, asked how would one go about acquiring one of those "radio telephones"? Said Mr & Mrs Perfect on holiday both had them, were terribly good and didn't know why didn't have one herself. Presumed by this Mrs Payne meant mobile telephone, explained could take her into town once chair returned to window. Slipped into kitchen for tea before had chance for reply, however heard several oofs, and returning while later with tea found chair good 6 inches further from kitchen door, Mrs Payne exhausted, apparently fallen asleep.