Had call from boss this morning, would we be available for brunch. Said this positively delightful, was sure other half and Mrs Payne agreeable. Boss replied was excellent news. By the by, their cooker not working, but had quantity of bacon, could perhaps come around to our house?
Boss and Horseface arrived mid-morning, and had quite prodigious amount of bacon. Bound to say had gone to butcher and asked for whole pig. Setting about our side of bargain, bacon was soon cooking, and were enjoying coffee from Mrs Payne's expert hand with coffee machine, still in lounge. Boss commented on this, and other half most annoyed it still being there.
Horseface commented during brunch as to not having played dominoes of late. Said not a word on this, as too aware of Horesface, as competitive as a nag on derby day. Other half said this quite brilliant idea, could start immediately, in fact after another bacon sandwich, most delicious.
All dutiful in finishing off bacon, set about playing dominoes. Usual rules applied of 20 pence per game, winner takes all. This altogether difficult as had barely a 20 pence each. At this Mrs Payne tottered upstairs, and came down with quite largest jar of coins had ever seen, by way of acting as banker. Horseface queried quite astonishing collection, at which Mrs Payne said had squirrelled away pennies from telephone table. At this most furious, exclaimed at volume,
"That's my change!".
This nervously ignored by Mrs Payne, said had we all got 20 pence pieces, let's begin.
Played several games, with each winning rather evenly. As such by lunchtime, each had their original money. This appeared most disappointing to all, as each said had played terribly well, had almost won on several occasions. Horseface had most tantalising suggestion, could bet all money on last game! This duly accepted by all, followed rather tentative and exciting play. Horseface and I had but two tiles left as clock struck twelve. At this Mrs Payne unceremoniously got up from kitchen table, other half said was terribly sorry, but snooker on. Horseface protested as to what about money, had nearly won! At this Mrs Payne said was quite right, promptly reached into auntie, retrieved her share of coins, went into lounge with not a word. Seeing this, other half looked rather sheepish, did the same, apologising profusely.
Horseface, boss and I sat at table for several moments, rather stunned as to abandoned game. Horseface uttered "but..." several times, and before had time for warning, went into lounge to make protest about resuming game. Before had time for more than word, quite bellowing voice shook through house from Mrs Payne,
"DO YOU MIND!".