Thursday, 10 May 2012

Day 149

Had awful afternoon yesterday with Mrs Payne, most energetic on account of coffee.  Had to positively pull vacuum cleaner from hands, at which she stopped for a moment, and looking at me directly, gave fearful tirade on dust, shaking terribly throughout.  Ignored this entirely, said would go and get some camomile tea, most calming, would she kindly sit down.

Bound to say made myself camomile tea also, as heart positively pounding from dealing with Mrs Payne.  Steeled myself as brought tray of tea into lounge and heart positively stopped.  Put down tray and queried optimistically,
"Mrs Payne?".  She was gone.

After some moments heard rather odd squeaking from lounge window, at which found Mrs Payne outside, rapidly cleaning exterior of window with a cushion.  Walked towards window, and in much annoyance shouted at terrible volume,
"MRS PAYNE!".  A moment passed, after which Mrs Payne saw me through window, and with scared quiver, tottered away from window.  Stalked to front door to find Mrs Payne tottering down drive, and again shouted at quite some volume,
"I say, MRS PAYNE!".  At this, Mrs Payne called me a bounder, promptly threw cushion at me with as much force as could muster, falling altogether short, landing in puddle.

Most annoyed as recovered cushion from puddle, by which time Mrs Payne some yards away.  Looking back Mrs Payne called me a bounder once more, and seeing suspicious old couple, stood at front door and open-mouthed with shock, said in terribly shrill voice,
"Coooee!", continued walking at surprising pace, and before long, was gone.

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