Quite astonished this morning to hear knock at door and find Uptight on step, asking regards project. Explained was terribly sorry, only worked office hours, as such had not yet started. At this Uptight said was sure I had made some sketches, promptly invited himself in.
Other half most annoyed at this, as was in middle of breakfast and quite unwilling for visitors. Explained as such with fearful glare in my direction.
Pulled out sketchpad and set about some ideas I had already thought about. These proved altogether falling short, instantly dismissed by Uptight as was sure could do better himself. Most annoyed at this, said to Mrs Payne perhaps she would be so kind as to make the tea. This caused rather confusion, Mrs Payne exclaiming she thought... then understanding immediately, said with pleasure,
"Early grave it is!". Replied under breath I certainly hoped so.
Whilst Uptight went on about design, deathly boring, looked at Mrs Payne making tea. Bound to say took quite some time to find tea, having been mercilessly shoved to back of cupboard following annoyance yesterday. Had to interrupt Mrs Payne on one occasion to say best not make tea with that, as was gravy granules. Uptight interrupted at this, said he found gravy granules quite fearful.
Having finally retrieved box of earl grey tea, Mrs Payne set about making it. In evident confusion at quantities, looked between pot and box, and with much amusement poured quantity into tea pot direct from box. Thought this positively inspired. All too eager to make tea, Mrs Payne poured remainder of long-since boiled hot water into pot, and seeing water level falling rather short, checked Uptight not watching, filled remainder direct from tap, swilling around the mixture, and uttering to herself quietly,
"Oh I say!".
Gestured as Mrs Payne put this concoction on table to pour immediately, as could not stand another second of Uptight's boring, unwelcome diatribe. Having poured, I pushed a cup towards Uptight on top of sketchpad, by way of indicating necessity to acknowledge offering. Mrs Payne, evidently forgetting the foul liquid she had made, took quite gulp of the stuff, and following several moments of difficultly swallowing, said with a gasp,
"Oh... Delicious!". Promptly turned white.
Took cup to my mouth at same time as Uptight, with smell of the brew bad enough, and smiled as took smallest sip into mouth. Taste quite like stale malt, and most pungent in aroma, bound to say had awful taste in mouth for some minutes afterwards. Most thankful that Mrs Payne filled my cup altogether shorter than Uptight's.
Followed further minutes of most annoying opinion from Uptight on design, and with every comment, insisted he drank tea. This eventually had effect desired, Uptight having drank particularly large gulp, presumably in effort to rid himself of the drink, Mrs Payne promptly said, "more tea?" and before had moment to swallow, had filled his cup to almost overflowing. With look of horror, Uptight said thank you very much for tea, and having already bolted for front door, said had better be going, good-bye.
Thanked Mrs Payne profusely having returned to kitchen, said I didn't know how she had made such a foul brew. This explained with delight,
"I added a little something!", and bringing cup to her nose, had a deep smell, said victoriously,