Friday, 18 May 2012

Day 155

Spent afternoon working both furiously, and furiously, as Professor Uptight gave quite ridiculous instructions as to design, and most annoyed with constant complaint as,
"Move it the other way!  No, the other way!".  Had had quite enough by late afternoon, and having fended off Mrs Payne on several occasions with tea, finally had design complete.  Bound to say design broke every rule in the book, and looked quite ghastly.  Showed it to Mrs Payne once Uptight had stalked out and to the printers, with response that was not aware circus was in town.

Other half come soon after, and most annoyed to hear had seen Mrs Uptight on drive, and had invited us to charity event, wouldn't it be jolly!  Also said boss and Horseface would be there.  Most concerned at this as boss would see quite frightful design with our company implicated in its abominable creation.

Showing it to other half, said I would like to be nowhere near the creation.  Other half said it did look rather "colourful", had I enlisted local nursery for creative advice?  Explained with much frustration, was altogether Uptight's doing, I was merely "mouse monkey", as Uptight had called me when particularly annoyed at progress.  Other half said I was a poor dear, but surely wouldn't be blamed.  Shall we get ready?

Arriving at event, most pained to see poster on door to hall, looking quite frightful.  Worse than this, Horseface and boss stood quite stationary, looking upon the work with quiet horror.  Boss most displeased, said what the devil was this, was ashamed to put good name of company against the work.  Explained was not my doing, but Uptight's, at which boss seemed no less angered.

Mrs Payne, coming along with sole purpose of cutting Uptight, tottered up, rather more slowly than other half and I.  Having joined us, Mrs Payne quite interrupted, said at volume,
"What rubbish!", and having tottered in between our party, shouted over her shoulder,
"Are we going in or not?".

Inside found place altogether full in intelligentsia and rich alike.  Felt quite out of place, and bound to say was frightfully nervous regarding poster, appearing approximately every 6 feet around the hall.  Looked like art gallery of psychopath.

Mrs Uptight soon greeted us, wouldn't we like glass of champagne, was terribly nice of us to come.  Further, thanked me for my work, in rather disconcerting way, and having looked at poster, thoughtfully said,
"Yes...", and walked off.

Bound to say five us stuck quite close together, and ignored topic of poster as much as possible.  Later, Mrs Uptight saw again to her patrons, asked would we be kind enough to consider a donation?  At this questioned quietly to other half,
"Fifty?", at which Mrs Payne overhearing, said carelessly,
"Fifty?  I say Robert, that's fearfully mean of you!  At least give them a pound!".

Finally came Professor's speech regarding charity.  Bound to say this most pompous, but quite had heart in mouth as Uptight talked about terribly nice poster, outlining charity work in most beautiful way.  Looked at boss with utmost fear and felt positively sick as Uptight went on to say he had been asked a number of time on its production.  After this he said there was one person who had particularly helped in the design, and really should be thanked awfully.  The crowd looked around, and I went positively white with fear of the attention.  Having given quite ridiculous pause, Uptight finally revealed,
"It was me!".
Room erupted into deathly silence, with one or two whispers in gravest of tones.  Uptight altogether taken back by this, and with not a jot to say, silence prevailed with most awkward lack of applause.  Seeing this, Mrs Payne most pleased, decided would be altogether amusing to clap all the same, at which proceeded to do so at utmost volume, quite echoing around room in most sarcastic of tones.

Looked at boss, showing quite some relief, promptly finished his champagne in one.  Doing so, looked around five of us, and touching Horseface's arm, said with conviction,
"Shall we go?".

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