Friday, 8 June 2012

Day 165 - lunch

Came down mid-morning for tea, as was assured by Mrs Payne that Horseface and Mrs Uptight would arrive much later.  Much dismayed when received knock at door, and more so when Mrs Payne exclaimed in annoyance when answering,
"Oh, it's you.".

Set about getting tea as quickly as possible, however was set up by Horseface and Mrs Uptight on way back to office.  Bound to say received quite hen pecking, with each participant in tea party saying,
"Oh, do stay!  We insist!".  Thought this rather uncomfortable, but no amount of reasoning as to having work prevailed, as such spent positively ghastly hour as part of the "jolly foursome".

Sat quietly, sipping tea, whilst Mrs Payne, Horseface and Mrs Uptight exchanged altogether sarcastic remarks and most worrisome stares.  Was certain to be turned into stone at any moment.  Each had their own particular favourite, with Mrs Payne saying she did hope Horseface's dogs were quite alright, was she sure it wasn't her own cakes they ate?  At this, Horseface said ever so politely, yes, was quite sure, perhaps they were rotten, was rather hard to tell, but sure they were delicious!  Mrs Uptight remarked was most surprised to find cake in garden this morning, looked rather like Horseface's, most strange!  Following this party returned to silence, with each stone-faced with fury.

Thought this charade altogether rough, and said would be returning to work now.  At this Horseface grabbed my arm rather firmly, said most seriously,
"Oh.  Do stay.  We.  Insist!".
Mrs Payne gave sickly sweet smile at this, picked up plate of cakes, said would we like one?  Picked one myself, in sheer terror, and having set it on a little plate, looked at it solemnly.  Seeing this, Mrs Payne exclaimed in some annoyance,
"I say, Robert!  Are you eating that cake or shall we frame it!".

Returning to awful sweetness, Mrs Payne asked if Horseface would like a cake.  Looked positively furious as Horseface said no, was terribly kind, but rarely ate cake.  Struggling to hold her calm, Mrs Payne said rather slowly, that was sure this a silly thing, had eaten plenty yesterday.  Surely a little one would do no harm?  Horseface's steady refusal caused much annoyance as Mrs Payne said through gritted teeth,
"No really, I...", and loosing the cake from her hand, Mrs Payne pelted a cup cake at Horseface, hitting her dress and causing quite some debris of crumbs with the cake landing in her lap.  Seeing what she had done, Mrs Payne gasped, said rather quietly,
"...insist.".

Followed quite some harrowing exchange, with Horseface first say,
"Why, don't, you, have it!", at which she threw cake at Mrs Payne.  In reply the cake was returned, with Mrs Payne saying,
"No, I, insist!".

After quite some rounds, Mrs Uptight, having been sat in silent shock like myself, stood up, said was terribly nice to invite her, must be going!  At this, quite rushed towards front door to let herself out, at which Mrs Payne shouted in annoyance,
"Where do you think you're going?", and loosed another cup cake, hitting Mrs Uptight rather firmly in the back of the head.  This caused quite a quiver from Mrs Uptight, who finally opened the door, and left promptly, saying with distress as she exited,
"Oh!  I say!  Oh!  Savages!".

The door soon slammed, and Horseface, Mrs Payne and I sat in silence for some moments.  Received sickening shock as Horseface and Mrs Payne burst out laughing, and after several minutes of tearful giggling, both said were terribly sorry, was most awful of them.  Both relapsed into frightful laughter, echoing,
"Oh!  Savages!".

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