Other half most pleased last night with her cake from Horseface. Said it positively delicious. Replied with disappointment had barely tasted mine before was thrown out of window. Other half said I was a poor dear, all the same, could do with losing a few pounds.
Awoke this morning with Mrs Payne baking again. This altogether too much, said if was any more flour on floor would barely see the tiles. Mrs Payne responded this positive nonsense, as bag of flour promptly fell over, tipping flour off table onto my slippers. Mrs Payne thought this most amusing, said did I want sugar and egg also, would make slipper quite edible if baked.
Mrs Payne evidently still reeling from encounter with Horseface last night. Said was terribly annoyed at having invited Horseface and Mrs Uptight at all, would sooner never set eyes on Horseface again. Had invited them prior to disagreement regards her cakes. Explained, as mixture slopping over side of bowl whilst stirring, had in any case put not a jot more butter than absolutely necessary. Was sure cakes most sub-par, and, hoped,
"She jolly well chokes on them!".
Will surely lock myself in office until ambulance arrives.