Positively furious yesterday, as having done work and quite overstayed my welcome in deli, was not a glimpse of Mrs Payne returning. Stalked out of the place and set about trying to find Mrs Payne in small cluster of shops.
Was most surprised as walked into one or two shops quite expecting not a sign of Mrs Payne, asking as I did, had they seen rather portly lady of senior years? Was told they rather expected they had seen her. Had someone asking did they have any world web available, would require quick go, and would pay handsomely for it. Followed they said regretfully did not have any, at which portly lady promptly left, muttering as she did,
"Why do they call it the world web if no one has it!".
Eventually happened upon computer shop, and inside found Mrs Payne in much fluster, exclaiming they must have world web here with all these computer boxes. Shop assistant most patient, said was terribly sorry, was not available for customer use. She might try Internet cafe in town. Mrs Payne most annoyed at this, said did not want Internet, but world web! Might there be a world web cafe also?
Seeing me, assistant queried was this my mother? Had been in shop for quite some time asking for Internet access, said he would be paid well for it, had seventeen pounds! Explained was certainly NOT my mother, but rather unfortunate relation. By this point Mrs Payne altogether annoyed had left shop and having thanked assistant, left shop to find Mrs Payne questioning policeman,
"Can you give me directions to some world web?".