Took Mrs Payne into town yesterday afternoon and witnessed in terror her giddy excitement of decorating paraphernalia, as a child in a sweetshop. Felt quite sick as Mrs Payne tottered from shelf to shelf, saying about each item,
"Oh, I say! That would look lovely!".
Explained on numerous occasions would certainly not be putting a bird bath, hanging basket, or bidet in her room. Seemed most disappointed.
Mrs Payne said 'wood chip' wallpaper quite frightful, would have to be painted. Declared this most ridiculous, wood chip height of fashion now, why did she not leave wallpaper as was? At this Mrs Payne staring into some distant part of shop said to herself,
"Yes! I need new wallpaper!".
At this Mrs Payne tottered off at full tilt. As I wearily caught up, found Mrs Payne carefully eyeing all kinds of wallpaper of quite horrifying pattern. Before had a second to complain Mrs Paye had put several rolls of wide striped pink paper into trolley, saying with pleasure,
"That's a start!".
Followed awful journey around shop, with me querying various items would perhaps need to afix wallpaper. Begged her pardon, but how was she intending to stick wallpaper to wall? Mrs Payne quite stopped at this, looked at me squarely, said I was a fearful idiot, was using flour and water!
Having picked up some wallpaper paste in any case, Mrs Payne continued her perusal. Happening on paint, Mrs Payne seeming altogether drawn to quite brightest of colours, and holding small tins in hand, was deciding between bright pink or sunshine yellow. Declared paint most unnecessary, had already got wallpaper! Wallpaper most acceptable, perhaps could leave it at that? This taken most badly by Mrs Payne, said wallpaper only for feature wall! This notion quite chilled me to the bone. Queried would pink wallpaper and paint not be rather too much? At this Mrs Payne gave some though, said with delight,
"Yellow it is! That would look lovely!".