Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Day 182

Took to the green yesterday afternoon, Mrs Payne and I both under duress from other half. Bound to say first game's poor performance looking altogether as beginner's luck, as today's positively dire.

Mrs Payne's vicious throwing of jack rather more wayward than previous, bouncing as it did, into a bush. This most annoying, as I was sent into said rather prickly bush to retrieve item, seeing as,
"You wanted to come!".

Followed game where mind altogether unclear on whether weighted side of ball should be inward or outward, as such some throws veered fearfully, causing much calamity in other people's games. Apparently Monday morning rather more busy than weekends, explained by lady in club hut, saying,
"Only amateurs play at weekends!", clearly forgetting had only just seen us last weekend.

In this session of prickling and profuse apology to fellow players, was altogether in perkiest of manners, was sure other half would be proud as I said what a jolly game it was, and wasn't Mrs Payne enjoying herself also! Delightful game!

Situation took turn rather for worse as started spitting with rain, with Mrs Payne taking very first drop as opportunity to call it a day. Exclaimed was having ever so much fun, might be continue? Also, Mrs Payne was winning, was terribly exciting, was it not?

Apparently, it was rather not. Mrs Payne, cannoning her bowl with fearful disregard, curved around in terrible banana shape, quite obliterated fellow player's game, and even politest old gent apparently most displeased when interrupting ones game of bowls, exclaimed with annoyance,
"Oi! Watch what you're doing you bloody fool!".
Mrs Payne most affronted at this. Decided it was time to leave.

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