Thursday, 5 July 2012

Day 184

Mrs Payne and I headed to bowls club yesterday afternoon, having had an early lunch. Mrs Payne queried in much annoyance, did I have to confiscate the biscuit barrel earlier? Replied I rather thought I did, as was quite sure Mrs Payne would have hoarded the items and refused to move an inch. By way of defiance, Mrs Payne said had made her own chocolate biscuits in any case out of crackers and cocoa powder. Queried as we drudged along with spitting rain, how they were, to which Mrs Payne replied with a shudder,
"Dreadful!".

Got to bowling club and collected bowling items. Mrs Payne said had may as well get to it, despite spitting with rain. At this Mrs Payne replayed usual tactic of over-arm throw of the jack, and uttered with fury,
"PLAY!".

Bound to say threw my first bowl rather nicely, ending altogether near jack. Most pleased with this incredible luck! Mrs Payne rather less so, said was going to cannon my ball clear off the green, might I go and stand to retrieve the bowl from the edge?

Slowly walked across the green in much annoyance at Mrs Payne undoing my luck. Once in position Mrs Payne made awful play of lining up and swinging bowl, after which quite dropped it on the spot, and grabbing biscuit barrel from nearby bench, exclaimed victoriously,
"I've got the biscuits you bounder! I'm off!", at which tottered as fast as could manage, whilst viciously throwing biscuit tin lid to the ground with a clang and conveyed whole biscuit into her mouth, presumably to aid energy. Tottering past club hut, I watched in dismay as Mrs Payne said with mouthful of biscuit to the old lady, open mouthed and rather in shock,
"I've got the biscuits! I'll be hanged before I play!".

Other half altogether displeased when found me sitting on bench some minutes later. No amount of explanation and gesturing with biscuit tin lid helped. Said in much annoyance Mrs Payne quite took the biscuit! At this other half burst out laughing, said I was silly. Added after some moments, if mother thought herself devious, had clearly not remembered who else was a Payne. Gave awfully wry smile at this, bound to say quite chilled me to the core.

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