Monday, 9 July 2012

Day 186

Had telephone call from Horseface at weekend, altogether apologetic regards playing bowls with Mrs Payne. Had not meant them to get barred from the club, most shaming. By the by, would we like to have lunch? Replied with much regret that other half and I rather busy. Was sure Mrs Payne would be delighted.

Mrs Payne altogether not delighted, said would sooner be hanged as to spend another moment with Horseface. Replied this much a shame, were already on their way, and other half and I going out. Goodbye!

Other half and I returned some time later having completed our errand, fearfully troublesome, as were returning kettle that got too hot. At least other half said kettle got too hot, so took her word for it. Shop manager said kettle that got to hot positively ridiculous. Other half said manager was clearly calling her a liar, and was I going to stand around and have such insults thrown around? Bound to say whole event ended badly.

Found Mrs Payne altogether missing upon return, so assumed that had been most gracious on Horseface and boss' arrival and had gone out. Most pleased to have place to ourselves, said to other half by way of making up I would make some tea, although was most disappointed as still had no biscuits. Other half said that was just like me. Thought this fearfully rough.

Heard some fumbling at door some time later, and found Mrs Payne attempting entry, carefully balancing two tins of biscuits and in most jolliest of moods. Having stepped indoors, Mrs Payne uttered with triumph,
"Look! I've got biscuits!". Thinking this most appeasing for other half, exclaimed this most brilliant of purchases. Tins ever so large though, did she need two? At this Mrs Payne gave quite a laugh, said with excitement,
"This is just the start!".

Boss soon entered also, carrying two more tins. Declared this all too much, four large tins most ridiculous! Would take us an age to get through them! Boss said rather nervously had rather more than that. In fact, had another twenty tins. Was quite flabagasted at this, exclaimed in shock,
"Twenty four tins!". At this other half returned from kitchen, said with much annoyance,
"Twenty four, WHAT!".
Followed explanation from boss and Horseface, now each carrying two more tins of biscuits, that had mentioned wholesale store. Mrs Payne ever so excited about it, so had taken her. At this Mrs Payne interjected, saying with delight,
"It's ever so cheap, and these were discounted further! Fancy!".

Twenty four tins having been transported from car, asked Horseface and boss if they would like tea, we had biscuits! At this Mrs Payne said rather seriously, was terribly sorry, biscuits not on offer. Had withheld biscuits last week and left her to starve, I would not be having a crumb! Fearfully annoyed at this as all made quite some point of biscuits being most delicious. Mrs Payne said with much amusement, might I like the cocoa and crackers? Positively furious.

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