Thursday, 19 July 2012

Day 194

Another positively fearful night. Other half brought home ingredients to make sausage rolls for Mrs Payne's party. Said this quite ridiculous, did not want a party in any case! Other half most insistent, so stole down to kitchen past midnight again to make dreadful items.

Bound to say operation much smoother as other half gave various instructions by way of mime again. Sure to be quite brilliant at charades for Christmas. Two dozen little sausage rolls quickly dispatched to oven, other half and I sat in silence waiting desperately for them to cook so could go to bed.

Awoke from doze with a start as heard quite some noise from outside and positively had heart attack as Mrs Payne burst into kitchen armed with umbrella, opening it by way of automatic spring and shouting from behind it,
"I'M READY, YOU BOUNDERS!".

Other half and I said wearily was certainly nothing wrong, please could she put down umbrella, was surely animal in garden. Doing so Mrs Payne said with surprise,
"What are you doing up at this time again?", as looked with much curiosity directly into oven.
Most distracted, other half and I said in quite incredible unison,
"Thought I'd get a sausage roll.".

Thankfully this completely ignored, as handing me umbrella, Mrs Payne said altogether seriously,
"You better take a look.".
Had barely a moment to exclaim had only early thought earlier me not helping a jot when was shoved into dark armed only with an umbrella and fearfully small torch. By way of helping, Mrs Payne exclaimed out of door,
"I've sent someone out! Don't hurt him too much!".

Stalked around garden in dark whilst heard Mrs Payne at kitchen door querying to daughter,
"I say, are those sausage rolls done?", and following some discussion, Mrs Payne said with disinterest,
"Keep up the good work, Robert!", promptly shut door.

Fumbled around in dark for some time, finding not a jot of disturbance. Returned to house some time later to find Mrs Payne and other half eating sausage rolls. Mrs Payne queried with excitement,
"Didn't find anything then?".

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