Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Day 203 - lunch

Mrs Payne in quite fearful mood at lunch, said with some frustration was positively outrageous, had received another newspaper today with crossword! This altogether ignored, as bound to say am fearfully tired myself. Said was going back to office to write. As such shall continue Mrs Payne's woeful antics.

Bound to say champagne altogether delightful, rather too much so, as had quite two bottles. This Mrs Payne positively revelled in, with waiters flying to and fro keeping her happy. Other half said quietly to mother, was sure champagne fearfully expensive here, might we see about some moderation?

All positively sloshed as finished third bottle of champagne, or as other half and Horseface were repeating, through some giggles,
"Lovebly champanagne!".

Mrs Payne remained regal throughout, as one trying to be altogether inconspicuous to her onlookers. Was altogether annoyed as couple came in from patio, said waiter was awfully cold, might there be table inside for dessert? At this waiter said was terribly sorry, was dealing with another guest, at which quite cut the couple, brought Mrs Payne bill. This evidently fearful shock, as said quietly to herself,
"I say!".

Waiter altogether polite regards waiting on signature. Cold couple stood waiting with some annoyance, at which waiter said with air of superiority,
"Do you mind waiting on the patio? We don't want a crowd.". Bound to say cold couple rather did mind waiting, were paying guests, was quite outrageous! At this waiter most superior, said hotel liked to look after its more prominent guests, might they please wait on patio? Most annoyed, cold young lady said with some contempt,
"Why, who do you think this is?".
Silence fell over table, and bound to say "champanagne" wore off in an instant as all held their breath in horror. Seeing all eyes on him, waiter shuffled rather, said indignantly,
"It's Susan Boyle!".
Felt altogether sick as silence returned, before cold couple broke into raucous laughter, saying with tears in eyes,
"If that's Susan Boyle, she's put on a bit!".
Mrs Payne positively shook with rage, and having steeled herself, said fury,
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!". At this cold young lady continued laughing, said with amusement,
"No! Who are you!".
At this Mrs Payne shook in further anger, looked around rather in panic, saying in disbelief,
"Well! I'm...! This is OUTRAGEOUS!". At this stood up, quite knocking ice bucket over waiter, promptly stalked out of restaurant leaving open-mouthed guests in wake of astonishment.

Settled bill in much discomfort as all at our table most remorseful. Other half said with despondence,
"Lovebly champanagne.".

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