Thursday, 16 August 2012

Day 204 - lunch

Mrs Payne most excited at mid-morning tea.  Exclaimed with pride, did I know Olympic torch was passing by soon?  Was terribly exciting, was it not!  Said was sorry to say, this positively weeks ago.  Mrs Payne most disappointed at this, said was still catching up.  Said with some annoyance would write to Downing Street when explained to her when torch would next be back.

Avoiding fearful tirade regards lack of consideration regards Olympics in Britain, so more writing in my office.

Following on from yesterday's entry regards hotel restaurant, bound to say did not return again.  This most annoying, as was awfully hard to find alternatives, as either fearfully expensive, or menus caused much argument as to not being a jot that one liked, might we go elsewhere?

Settled one night on altogether expensive place, following laborious search.  Decided would altogether avoid champagne, agreed would share bottle of wine.  This agreed upon, set about reading menu.  All looked positively delightful, with quite delicious sounding descriptions such that could very well have ate menu itself if ravenous.  After some perusal all decided, with waiter taking our order.  Mrs Payne, last to order, queried as to lobster.  Could waiter tell her about it.  By the by, did market value mean had to buy it herself?

Most impressed as waiter utmost professional, said lobsters bought fresh, as such cost was from fisherman.  Mrs Payne most impressed at this, said was altogether expensive, but hated middlemen fearfully!  Adjacent table looked around at this in amused confusion, to which Mrs Payne repeated in synopsis,
"Middlemen!  Fearfully!".

Mrs Payne most excited having ordered her lobster, said was an awful lot, a whole lobster, did they not serve part?  At this all were most nervous.  Said carefully to Mrs Payne was whole lobster, because was served whole.  At this Mrs Payne looked altogether serious, said with concern,
"You mean, whole?  With his overcoat on and the lot?".  Replied with dismay that may very well have his top hat on also.
At this Mrs Payne turned instantly, said at volume,
Four waiters having turned around, one serving our table came over.  Heard Mrs Payne's request regards cancelling her order, to which waiter was terribly sorry, had already been put in.  Was altogether confused regards request to "take his overcoat off", said would be happy to take alternative, but was terribly sorry, would have to charge for lobster.
Mrs Payne most excitedly said what a terribly treat!  Might anyone like her delicious lobster in exchange for their dish!  Not ashamed to say looked away ever so casually at this, as did remainder of table, including waiter.  All slowly returned their gaze to Mrs Payne, looking ahead despondently.  Waiting some moments, waiter continued,
"Very good.", and left by Mrs Payne a shell cracking contraption such that might see in nineteenth century dentistry next to Mrs Payne's knife.  Mrs Payne picked up this item, looking one by one around table, and returning her gaze to shell cracker, said with quiver,
"Oh dear.".

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