Friday, 17 August 2012

Day 205

Other half and I most displeased regards crosswords.  Mrs Payne positively refused to stop newspaper or throw away excess.  As such devised quite cleverest way to resolve them.

Left Mrs Payne with solitary crossword yesterday afternoon, as went on trip to coffee shop.  Having got coffee sat on table prominent in middle of cafe, set out crosswords with selection of pens and set about solving one myself.  Positively delighted as had middle aged lady ask if crosswords were available.  Said yes they were, might she return it when complete?

Bound to say had delegated four crosswords by time Horseface came in, said loudly,
"Putting the unemployed and the unemployable to work, eh, Robert?".  Thankfully all ignored this, as said in hushed tone as to being only way to stop Mrs Payne's mania regards crosswords.  At this Horseface said indulgently,
"Very well!", at which took crossword herself.

Slowly crosswords returned, however most disappointingly only six had been completed, leaving four untouched.  Had not a jot of time to complete them, however positively determined to catch up, said with a General's resolve to Horseface,
"Start filling in random words - don't worry about the clues!".

This duly undertaken, Horseface and I looked proudly at table spread with crosswords, completed of a fashion.  Thanked Horseface warmly for her help.  Said was sure Mrs Payne would be grateful.  At this Horseface said had better not say she was involved as might cause undue scrutiny regards answers.  Said on seconds though, unfortunately agreed.

Returned home to find Mrs Payne on verge of completing her crossword received today.  Said had some exciting news, as laid down pile of completed crosswords, carefully hiding incorrect ones at bottom of pile.  Mrs Payne positively elated, said with feeling,
"I say, Robert, you are clever!".

Helped Mrs Payne complete her last crossword, and with seven clues answered with questionable integrity, entire pile of 15 crosswords complete.  Mrs Payne looked on this with pleasure, saying with pride,
"I can't believe I completed them all!".  At this Mrs Payne got up from table, carefully holding crosswords, before letting them fall like leaves into kitchen bin.  Said incredulously,
"What are you doing!", to which Mrs Payne said nonchalantly,
"Oh, I always throw away crosswords when they're done!".

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