Monday, 20 August 2012

Day 206 - lunch

Much dismayed at lunchtime to find not a crumb of nice bread had bought from supermarket.  Queried with Mrs Payne as to what were having for lunch, had not a jot for toast.  By the by, where had loaf gone?  Mrs Payne most dismissive regards loaf, said had given it to birds.  Most annoyed at this, said was altogether expensive, had bought it specifically.  Ignoring this entirely, Mrs Payne said with excitement, might I like to see her loaf?  Said with much hesitation I would.  At this Mrs Payne carefully lifted  tea towel off kitchen table, exclaimed with pride,
"Ta-da!".

Looked open the loaf with much reminiscence.  Item fearfully under-risen, was quite size of fruit loaf.  Picking up item such as to tap bottom to check if done (have seen this on television), found it quite frightful weight and density also.  Mrs Payne looked on, saying with excitement,
"Isn't it a beauty!".

Seeing not a jot else for lunch.  Said I would cut.  Bound to say this proved rather difficult.  Bread altogether warm, and between scalding fingers, managed to cut several slices, unfortunately, in rather wedge shape.  Mrs Payne most annoyed at this, said was doing it awfully wrong, was quite fearful idiot.  Taking over, Mrs Payne proceeded to cut slice for herself, rather in shape of door wedge.

Set about putting my slices in toaster.  Most annoyed as only half fitted in, leaving thick end of slice protruding rather and altogether untoasted.  Most despondent at this, as readied fearful quantity of butter.  Looking on protruding bread, begged Mrs Payne's pardon, what had she put in bread?  Mrs Payne most pleased with this question, said in reply with emphasis,
"It's my own recipe!  It's got bits of cherry, dessicated coconut, and some dry roasted peanuts, for crunch!  I found them at the back of the cupboard!".

Set my slices of half-toasted bread on plate, as sighed rather.  Put fearful quantity of butter on the wedges as Mrs Payne, having her bread untoasted, did the same in lesser quantity.  Steeled myself rather, and held breath as tasted the foul concoction.  Bound to say, tasted rather like starter, main and dessert, in one dense bread-like form.  Gripping the thin end between teeth, tore off morsel and chewed wistfully for some time, butter doing not a jot for edibility.  Mrs Payne must indulgent with hers, said was quite delicious, adding before taking large bite,
"You can really taste the dry roasted peanuts!".

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