Monday, 6 August 2012

Holiday - The Flight

Had jolly nice holiday so far.  Found a little Internet cafe and thought would write diary entry whilst Mrs Payne argues with hotel attendant as to why her sun lounger was moved from yesterday.

Bound to say had quite frightful events at airport.  Other half had warned mother ever so seriously regards bringing sharp objects and suchlike in carry-on luggage.  Positively died of embarrassment as going through airport scanner security personnel said awfully sharply to Mrs Payne as to having liquids in her bag.  Mrs Payne most indignant about this, said had jolly well not!  Followed quite some argument as to being able to look in Mrs Payne's bag, with some reference to be being a "fearful liberty".  After some rummaging, security chap retrieved bottle from bag, at which Mrs Payne said with annoyance,
"That's not liquid!  That's brown sauce!".

Boarding plane Mrs Payne made quite some point as to talking with pilot, holding up entire line in process, to which was most annoyed myself.  Said he was terribly dashing, might she see the cockpit?  This having been respectfully declined as to security, Mrs Payne made her way into the plane, finding seat.  Other half most shocked at this, said with some emphasis,
"Those aren't our seats.".  At this Mrs Payne most confused, said with pleasure,
"I like this one!  I'm sure no one will mind.".

First class passenger rather did mind, as did stewardess, might she go to her own seat?  Mrs Payne got up with some annoyance, said was negotiating.  At this said to chap, ever so polite regards his seat, would her copy of Prima change his mind?  Had barely touched the crossword!  This duly turned down, Mrs Payne adding with regret,
"I could offer you something else, but those bounders took my brown sauce!".

Other half positively certain was the law regards not changing seats in aircraft.  Said in hushed tone this decidedly rough, why was I sitting next to Mrs Payne?  Had the arm rest up, was taking up quarter of my seat!  Positively furious as other half stifled giggle behind her hand, as Mrs Payne shuffled rather, said with some annoyance,
"I say Robert, these seats are positively microscopic!  Might you move over a bit!".

...

Other half and Mrs Payne have come in.  Argument with hotel staff apparently not altogether successful, have been declared "bounders", as such might we go to beach.  Shall write more another time.

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