Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Come Back Gladys! - Part 2 of 7

All surveyed their sandwiches around Mrs Payne's table with confusion.  The sandwich itself looked astonishingly thin, like a design by a clever artist painted on the porcelain plate.  By way of improving its height, a large sprig of parsley topped the sandwich, such that by way of a passing glance, one may not see the sandwich was there at all.  Molly Faith picked her sandwich up, carefully balancing the thin leaves of bread and what looked like ham, barely thinner than the bread itself.
"It's a bit slighty" she said with disappointment.
"I'd say!" Suzanne Marr said with sarcastic annoyance as she picked hers up also.
"It's quite alright" Mrs Payne said contrarily, as she carefully rolled her sandwich up into a neat sausage.
"Oh, how clever!" Molly Faith said, looking with inspiration at the rolled sandwich, with Mrs Payne exclaiming as Suzanne Marr rolled her eyes,
"I shall call it a rollwich!  No, no.  A sandroll!"

Mrs Payne bit into the roll with an expression of surprise as she chewed.  Suzanne Marr joined in also, promptly removing the item from her mouth by way of a napkin.
"Revolting" she said with unsurprised disgust, putting the sandwich down in annoyance such that the plate bounced.
Finishing their mouthfuls, Mrs Payne and Molly Faith put their sandwiches down also.
"I say, Mrs Faith" Mrs Payne said politely, "is your sandwich a touch sweet?"
"I'd say!" Suzanne Marr interrupted, before Molly Faith had chance to answer.  Carefully peeling the sandwich apart, Suzanne Marr exclaimed with shock,
"It's got sugar on it!  You can see the grains!"
Mrs Payne quite ignored this, saying to Molly Faith,
"I think we might see about something in the kitchen in a moment."  At this Mrs Payne picked up her sandwich roll and sprinkled a little salt on top, explaining in response to Molly Faith and Suzanne Marr's confusion,
"That will balance it out nicely!"

Mrs Payne and Molly Faith set out for the kitchen, followed with some annoyance by Suzanne Marr.
"Knock knock!" Mrs Payne said brightly as she entered.  Handy Dave turned around, his hand on top of a tower of at least a dozen sandwiches being savagely squashed such that a large bread knife could cut the crusts off.
"Hello Bitty" Handy Dave said in reply with much stress.
"I see why the sandwiches are a bit thin" Mrs Payne said nonchalantly, adding kindly "you appear to have used sugar instead of salt though, dear."
"Oh goodness!" Handy Dave said in response, adding with dismay "what will I do with all these?" lifting his hand off the tower, showing a handprint it had been squashed.
"Do you have any qualification in catering?" Suzanne Marr said sharply.
"Oh yes!" Handy Dave said carefully, "two weeks in catering college.  Dropped out after two weeks, but they gave me the certificate in health and safety.  Did you see the professional way I handled that fire early?"
"Get out of my way!" Suzanne Marr said with annoyance, and having cast Handy Dave aside, began making numerous sandwiches with all she could lay her hands on, crafting them with much care and visible deliciousness, as Molly Faith began setting them onto plates.  Handy Dave transported the sandwiches to residents, receiving much praise for quite brilliant sandwiches, with which he replied it was really nothing.  Supplies soon exhausted, Suzanne Marr made four final sandwiches, handing one to Handy Dave by way of reference, and to Mrs Payne and Molly Faith.  Having eaten their sandwiches in the kitchen, Mrs Payne said with disappointment,
"It's a terrible shame wasting those with sugar on", adding carelessly, "by the by, where is the salt?"

Next part to be published Friday 26th October 2012, 12pm UK

Remember, I rely on your reactions (and comments) below to write more that you like!  Feedback, both positive and negative is greatly appreciated.

1 comment:

  1. Great story! It held my interest, as usual. It wasn't quite as funny as the last one, but I'm sure that's on purpose. I don't read these for constant hilarity. I love your writing!! :D

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