Friday, 30 November 2012

Day 225

Most annoyed to come down from office yesterday afternoon to find Mrs Payne having tidied not a jot.  Said as much, at which Mrs Payne most outraged, exclaimed in annoyance had tidied quite pile of newspapers!  At this looked towards front door, seeing three old newspapers carelessly placed such that front door could not open.  Mrs Payne most displeased as told her to move them, at which by way of demonstration of quite adequate positioning, Mrs Payne opened door with fearful speed, promptly scattered newspaper sheets across floor.  At this Mrs Payne most annoyed, said with surprise,
"Look at the mess you've made!"

Cleared away newspapers by way of keeping peace as well as various other items such that pleased to say place looked altogether better.  Mrs Payne helped not a jot, and bound to say quite considerable amount of her mess still remained.  Warned other half not to be trifled with, at which Mrs Payne laughed rather, said would put daughter over her knee!  Said with concern would likely be other way around.

Most pleased with afternoon's efforts regards tidying, returned to work.  Heard other half coming home, exclaiming as opened front door,
"What the bally!"
Went downstairs to find newspaper sheets scattered over floor and other half looking frightfully annoyed.  Mrs Payne exclaimed nonchalantly,
"Oh, I found a few more newspapers" and before had quite time to react, added "Robert told me to put them there!"  Fearfully annoyed at this, saying with surprise,
"I say, what the devil!"  Other half positively furious, stalked over newspapers to kitchen, one sheet getting stuck on shoe, saying at quite some volume,
"Get rid of those newspapers!"  Asked Mrs Payne if she would be putting daughter over her knee now, or later, to which received worried reply, she thought perhaps not.

Had miserable dinner, other half still most displeased and Mrs Payne altogether petulant regards tidying.  Mrs Payne exclaimed had been working terribly hard all day.  Shook head ever so subtly by way of indicating otherwise.  Most surprised as Mrs Payne evidently saw this, exclaiming as turned bright red,
"Judas!"

Following terribly quiet evening, other half altogether more reasonable this morning.  Said to mother would be terribly kind of her to vacuum, have always thought her quite expert in this regard.  This reluctantly agreed to, and heard mid-morning the vacuum cleaner on.  After barely moments of operation machine noise duly stopped, and heard at fearful volume exclamation from Mrs Payne,
"Oh no, my ring!  You sucked up my ring, you beast!"
Went downstairs to find to Mrs Payne frantically manipulating every button and lever on vacuum cleaner, repeating in annoyance,
"You beast!"
Queried as to what happened, at which Mrs Payne explained with much agitation that vacuum quite had mind of its own, hose writhing fearfully.  Had battled it fearlessly for quite some minutes, after which had managed to get onto sofa and sucked up ring, put there whilst cleaning to keep safe.

Said with a sigh not to worry, would soon have it out, opened bag compartment, quite stuffed to the brim with dust, and having cast some aside, neatly retrieved ring nestling within.  Handed it to Mrs Payne with quite some pride, saying was really nothing.  At this Mrs Payne most grateful, said would soon clean up dust that fell out.  At this Mrs Payne tapped vacuum to ON with foot, at which positive cloud of dust escaped from opened bag compartment, covering Mrs Payne and I.  Followed loud and heated battle to turn the item off, with Mrs Payne tapping heavily with her foot, quite incapable of pressing OFF, and my hand quite being stood on by Mrs Payne in attempt to do the same.
"Oh, I say, you tamed the beast!" Mrs Payne said with a gasp, as finally managed to turn blasted machine off.  Looked around room at see every possible surface covered in dust, and bound to say Mrs Payne and I looked altogether like chimney sweeps.  Mrs Payne shook her dress, at which volley of dust escaped causing both of us to sneeze terribly.  Looking around room Mrs Payne most dismayed, queried carefully,
"Do you think she will notice?"  At this snapped vacuum cleaner door shut, and handing Mrs Payne hose, said in annoyance,
"YES."

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