Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Day 227

Most concerning last night, heard quite some noises outside bedroom.  This altogether persistent, so with one slipper on foot and wielding one in hand with fearful menace, quietly opened bedroom door.  In all but pitch black, had no sooner walked through door as had bumped into burglar.  Bounced off their body rather, was about to give them prodigious slippering, when bare foot was violently stepped on.  Grunted rather in pain as heard burglar say with a quiver,
"Oh, I say!"

Gave Mrs Payne some terribly sharp words in hushed tones, querying as to what the devil she was doing at such late hour.  Mrs Payne most indignant at this, said was opening today's advent calendar window!  Declared this most ridiculous, might she see about bed?  At this Mrs Payne said with hushed delight was investigating a mystery!  Peering out of window, said had been watching for quite some minutes suspicious old couple's house, lights on and off all over house!  Query as to them opening their advent calendar windows quickly dismissed.

"I say, get the bins!" Mrs Payne said quietly.  Begged her pardon, what did she need bin for?  At this Mrs Payne exclaimed intolerably loudly for the hour, was a fearful idiot, meant binoculars!  Bound to say was altogether curious regards suspicious old couple myself, so complied with Mrs Payne's request.  Handing over binoculars most annoyed as Mrs Payne whispered condescendingly,
"I can see you're new to the spy game.  What about a notebook?"

Mrs Payne duly supplied with spy equipment including tiny torch by way of seeing notebook.  Mrs Payne instantly shone in my eyes, and quite snatched this out of the way as Mrs Payne stood on foot again.  Grunted in quiet fury as Mrs Payne looked through the binoculars.  Stood nursing toes as Mrs Payne spied, and after some moments of anticipation asked what she saw.  Mrs Payne said with slow consideration was terribly dark, could not see a jot!  Added binoculars quite awful, would sooner look through a cardboard tube!  Took quite some exception to this, said binoculars quite unsuitable for such dark viewing, was quite ridiculous to try.  At this Mrs Payne said with surprise,
"Wait a minute, I haven't taken the lens caps off.  Oh yes, that's much better!"

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