Received fearful fright this morning. Went downstairs regards mid-morning tea when most surprised to see burly figure dressed all in black accosting ones own biscuit tin. Bound to say thought was quite done-for, however realising was the good biscuits raised voice somewhat as to ask what the devil was going on. Flinched rather as figure turned around to see Mrs Payne's plump face poking out of hood, saying with mouthful of biscuit,
"I'm being stealthy!"
Declared this most ridiculous, positively forbade Mrs Payne carrying on like this, would she please take off my coat, and what the devil was she doing in the house with my wellington boots? At this Mrs Payne most unconcerned, said as the slowly plodded to front door with terrible inconvenience of loose boots,
"I'm going to see about the old couple opposite's back garden. Shan't be long!" At this watched in astonishment as Mrs Payne sneaked across road towards suspicious old couple's house.
Made tea by way of calming nerves, at which with some shock telephone rang. Heart positively pounded as answered, expecting Mrs Payne telephoning from her "office". Most surprised to hear other half on telephone, saying, by the by, old couple from across the road may be over later. Had given her key whilst on holiday. Was next to our letter rack. At this begged other half's pardon, had seen lights on across road. Other half said carelessly,
"Oh yes, timed I shouldn't wonder. Anyway, they'll be back soon. Don't forget about the key!"
Put telephone down with some concern. Looked out of front window and saw barely a glimpse of Mrs Payne. Looking at lawn, saw solitary wellington, abandoned on old couple's lawn. Wherever Mrs Payne might be, she had a very wet stocking.