Telephoned Fletchers again regards toaster and most pleased that chap from customer services said would arrange collection of toaster from home. Explained had number of such items going wrong. Had heard one customer stupid enough to jam screwdriver in it! Declared this quite astonishing. Exclaimed to Mrs Payne that her antics positively famous at Fletchers. Most disappointed at Mrs Payne replied nonchalantly,
"I shouldn't wonder!"
Rather despondent over lunch as ate bread and jam. Mrs Payne, looking at unplugged toaster, queried, by the by, had I tried changing the fuse? Replied with concern I rather hadn't. Mrs Payne returned to her bread and jam, as added dismissively,
"It'll be the fuse."
Declared this positively nonsense, chap on telephone had said of them going wrong.
Looked down at toaster, insides glowing nicely as the bread toasted and warm air rising above.
"I told you it'd be the fuse" Mrs Payne said brightly. Having made toast, most concerned as realised Fletchers would still be collecting toaster, and further, quite fearful charge if item found working. This explained, felt rather sick as Mrs Payne looked intently at toaster, requested slowly,
"I should like a screwdriver. The black one with melted handle. Oh, and a dustbin lid. Safety first!"