Sunday, 27 January 2013

Day 250

Worked fearfully yesterday afternoon, most annoyed as Internet altogether slow, put me back rather in time.  Came downstairs for dinner, Mrs Payne positively delighted, had uploaded her photographs for competition.  Queried as to how many had uploaded, at which Mrs Payne said proudly,
"All of them!"
Most annoyed at this, said was working jolly hard, did not need Internet sabotage!  Mrs Payne most confused at this, queried seriously,
"Sabotage?  Oh no, it was me!"
Bound to say was quite incredulous, replied loudly,
"Exactly!"

Worked after dinner, and had altogether resigned myself not to submit photograph for competition.  Said to other half were certain not to be "pin sharp" in any case.  Left other half with my camera to look, expecting worse.  Came downstairs to find other half said was terribly sorry, all but one were rather blurred.  Had submitted solitary one, adding kindly,
"I shouldn't get your hopes up.  Poor dear."

Most dejected over breakfast, as now fearfully busy with work and evidently not cut out for photography either.  This made altogether worse as Mrs Payne terribly excited regards photograph in newspaper, might we go direct to newsagents after breakfast?  Altogether displeased as other half said was sure I could take her.

Walked slowly into newsagents as Mrs Payne tottered as fast as could manage ahead.  Evidently in no mood for trifles, found shop owner looking rather bemused as Mrs Payne had opened newspaper on counter, presently flicking through pages showing not a glimpse for paying.  Looked over her shoulder and bound to say was most speechless upon seeing winning photograph.  Mrs Payne positively shook with rage, said in quiet fury,
"I demand to speak to the managing director of the newspaper!"  Bound to say newsagent rather displeased at this, declared there to be "no managing director here" and he "only blinking sold 'em".  Quite ignored this discussion as to management structure, looked down at black and white photograph, rather distant portrait of an old lady on bench, leaning forward slightly and clutching a large, tatty hand bag to her chest, eyes quite closed to the world in peaceful sleep.  It was a photograph taken as I approached Mrs Payne in park.  Terribly pleased at this publication, looked down as cutline, simply titled,

"OLD BAG"

Stopped Mrs Payne for a moment to exclaim in surprise,
"I say, I'm a photographer!" and added with what bound to say was quite some fear, "and pin sharp!"

Recommend this on Medium.

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