Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Day 252

Rather disappointed with Mrs Payne's opinion of trousers, as such have quietly put them in wardrobe such that can show other half when in good mood.  Other half evidently in quite fearful mood, as yesterday evening queried as to Mrs Payne's dress purchase, further as Mrs Payne most indignant regards "lapbob" making mistake on sizes, other half replying in annoyance,
"I don't want to hear another word about that bally 'lapbob'!"
Other half continued, asking rather sharply if I had bought "bally silly items".  Declared I hadn't.  Thought rather nervously at this how well had hidden trousers in wardrobe.

Still in dressing gown, Mrs Payne up rather promptly this morning, queried at 7 o'clock as to whether dress had arrived, was sure size to be perfect!  Declared it rather early for deliveries, further, rather early to be wearing Sunday hat, was it not?  At this Mrs Payne most unconcerned as sat down for breakfast, said it would match the dress when it arrived.  Pleased other half in rather better mood, exclaimed in amusement as came into kitchen,
"I say, I didn't know we had a visitor!  Oh, I say, what an odd over coat!"  Mrs Payne most unamused at this, declared with disappointment thought she looked rather well in her hat.

Bound to say Mrs Payne quite fearful all morning, heard front door open and close numerous times, evidently to check for delivery.  Received awful shock in coming down for mid-morning tea to find Mrs Payne waiting for door bell in bathroom, door quite open, still wearing hat, and bound to say, on toilet.  Averted eyes as said with horror could she please shut the door, price of answering front door quite reasonable to avoid such abhorrent sight.  Mrs Payne awfully shocked at this, declared she thought I was in office, adding with annoyance,
"How terribly rude!"
Stalked off to make tea as Mrs Payne shouted after me,
"Might you please close the door!  I'm getting a draught!  The door!"

Recommend this on Medium.

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