Thursday, 21 February 2013

Day 259

Mrs Payne positively fearful regards Horseface staying.  Exclaimed on numerous occasions when Horseface not present as to when might leave.  Other half most shamed by this, queried was it not Christian to love thy neighbour?  Must be something quite terrible to cause her to leave.  By the by, I had let her in, so entirely my fault.  Thought this decidedly rough.

Horseface still most grateful for letting her stay, said was least she could do to make dinner.  Bound to say other half and I quite delighted by this, sat in kitchen watching this spectacle with quite some anticipation, with numerous saucepans involved, and bound to say quite frightful mess.  Horseface explained as to recipe being own adaptation of duck a l'orange.

After quite some hour of cooking Horseface gracefully presented dish to us, positively swimming in quite thinnest of sauces such that was rather more l'orange than duck.  All looked at their dish rather with disappointment regards duck appearing altogether dry.  Quite unsure as to whether soup spoon being required, picked up knife and fork as Horseface exclaimed brightly,
"I find duck dry on occasion, so there's more sauce!  Do tuck in!"

Tried fearfully to tuck in, altogether difficult regards cutting duck, positively scooting around plate in sea of sauce.  Evidently applying rather more pressure, Mrs Payne found large piece of duck escaping from plate with slosh of sauce, exclaiming in quiet annoyance,
"Slippery devil."

All ate rather quietly, as bound to say involved terrible amount of chewing, making occasionally murmur "mmm!" between mouthfuls by way of halfhearted appreciation.  Having mastered skill of skewering duck and grinding away fearfully regards separating a portion, eventually ate the dish, numerous queries as to more sauce having been declined, still leaving plate positively full.  Was rather marveling at such dryness as Horseface queried with optimism,
"Does anyone want more?"

Followed quite avalanche of compliments regarding duck being "delicious" and really could not eat another atom.  At this was altogether difficult as Horseface burst into tears, said we were all terribly kind, had made this for husband when had argument, at which excused herself as left kitchen in floods of tears rather equaling quantity of sauce, saying as she did,
"Men!"
Other half promptly followed, saying,
"Men!" by way of solidarity.  Thought this decidedly unjust.  Looked despondently at state of kitchen, quite piled with used crockery and saucepans.  Most annoyed as I said should wash up, Mrs Payne starting rather, quickly set about leaving kitchen.  Most annoyed as Mrs Payne left, saying as she did,
"Oh yes, men, I dare say.  Robert is seeing to the dishes.  Men!"  Furious.

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