Sunday, 24 February 2013

Day 260

Thought rather better of Horseface cooking last night.  As such declared it terribly kind, but was altogether insistent regards being our guest, other half saying would cook lamb.  Was having dinner when most surprised to hear knock at front door.  Quite certain to be charity worker, went to door most annoyed at interruption from dinner and shocked to find boss looking altogether nervous, had come to apologise.  Bound to say this most difficult, fumbled rather as to Horseface not being here, at which boss said had seen wife's car around corner.  Suggested had best come in and said had best wait in lounge.  At this boss said had nothing to hide, stalked into dining room as I followed, declaring loudly,
"I have come to make amends!"

Bound to say this most awkward, sat down at table as boss stood at empty end of table, looking altogether concerned and most oddly clutching tomato sauce bottle.  Silence ensued and was altogether frozen as did not dare eat a mouthful as all looked at boss.  Mrs Payne, quite ignoring this, continued eating as asked Horseface nonchalantly,
"Could you pass the salt?"

Horseface being quite unable to react, boss repeated again as to making amends, and by way of demonstration, promptly took bottle off tomato sauce, and looking around table frantically, promptly emptied entire bottle onto nearest plate, that of Mrs Payne, as said with surprise,
"I was eating that!"

Bottle having been emptied, boss stood steadfast, shaking rather and positively fixed on Horseface, put bottle down on table with quite some force, saying loudly,
Followed quite some discourse as to be quite shamed at being such a bounder, acted in quite fearful way, was not fit to be her husband, but promised faithfully as to never doing it again, if she would take him back.  At this Horseface burst into tears, said had missed him terribly, could not stand another moment without him, was quite alright, would buy quite largest bottle of tomato sauce in morning.

Other half clasped my hand with tear in eye as Horseface dashed to boss' side, saying would never be parted again.  Both regaining composure, sat down and said were quite silliest of pairs, we were all such good friends for putting up with it.  Bound to say was terribly curious as to the argument, and rather glad as other half queried rather carefully as to the quarrel.  At this Horseface and boss giggled rather, explained as to eating Horseface's duck a l'orange, quarrel regards of boss requiring tomato sauce on account of dryness.  Coughed rather at this in shock, other half smiled rather as kindly admitted to such problem.  At this Horseface looked altogether serious before smiling rather, saying with amusement,
"Duck is so bally hard to cook!"

Peace having been restored, continued eating dinner, now rather cool, as boss and Horseface exchanged stories as to quite fearful days apart.  Throughout this Mrs Payne altogether ignored spectacle, solemnly fished through tomato sauce for lamb, and upon finding a morsel, studied it rather by way of identification, subsequently devouring it.  Boss exclaimed was terribly sorry regards spoiling Mrs Payne's dinner, queried as to preparing something else.  At this Mrs Payne explained it quite alright, saying after some scrutiny,
"Well it's not dry."

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