Friday, 8 March 2013

Day 265

Came downstairs this morning to find other half and Mrs Payne at breakfast table, adorned by headscarfs and sunglasses.  Bid good morning to Thelma and Louise, at which both equally delighted giggling like children   Queried as to when motor was arriving, at which Mrs Payne explained was to be delivered on trailer mid-morning, and removing sunglasses by way of emphasis, exclaimed with excitement,
"Fancy!"
Soon left other half and Mrs Payne to their breakfast, both struggling rather on account of sunglasses, Mrs Payne exclaiming as I left,
"I say, I can't see what the devil I'm eating."

Came downstairs mid-morning to find not a sign of Mrs Payne, apparently having set up deck chair on lawn to wait for motor.  Bound to say looked terribly cold, at which other half, more sensibly in house, exclaimed it was "bracing".  Declared I hoped would say the same when wind flying past ears in mother's convertible.  Looked out of window to see Mrs Payne fearlessly holding headscarf, exclaiming at quite some volume to suspicious old couple,
"Oh yes!  Convertible!  Here any moment!"

Was some time before lunch that van arrived outside, pulling behind it rather fancy covered trailer and bound to say was rather excited to see the motor myself.  Found front door agape as other half had joined other on lawn, most annoyed at letting heat out.  Mrs Payne shouted with delight,
"Robert, might you bring my driving gloves!"

Promptly all were present on lawn, with suspicious old couple looking from opposite side of road.  Delivery driver terribly nice chap soon presented himself, asking who Elizabeth Payne was as had vehicle delivery.  With  pleasure such that might pop, Mrs Payne squealed with excitement,
"I am!"
At this delivery driver began unbolting rear door, saying as he did,
"Best part of the job, this.  Beautiful colour too."

The rear door slowly flapped down, revealing for all the beautiful red vehicle.  Mrs Payne's headscarf promptly flew off, and with not a jot of concern for the item, Mrs Payne stood open mouthed staring inside the trailer.  Delivery driver soon reversed vehicle out for full view, and bound to say I admired it rather, exclaiming above the otherwise silence,
"I say, what a nice colour!  And convertible too!  Oh yes, terribly nice roof."

Standing proudly beside the vehicle, delivery driver held waved arm by way of introduction, querying with equal excitement,
"What do you think!"  At this Mrs Payne stood quite silent, and was quite certain went as red in face as the paintwork, saying after some moments of shaking anger,
"What is the meaning of this!  I ordered a red convertible!"  Delivery driver shuffled rather, and showing much disappointment, said nervously,
"But..  It is a red convertible.  I'm terribly sorry, is this not what you ordered?"  Mrs Payne exclaiming at furious volume,
"It's an mobility scooter!  I ordered a red convertible!"

Silence fell over those on lawn, as heard over the wind suspicious old couple opposite each shouting across,
"Oh yes!  Lovely!"
Quite ignoring this, Mrs Payne glared directly at delivery driver, poor chap, as said in slow annoyance,
"The motor car company rang and asked about buying a vehicle.  They said specifically about a convertible, and said they offered very good deals."  Looking terribly concerned delivery driver demonstrated roof, as explained,
"See, a convertible.  Red.  You see..  This is what we sell."

Mrs Payne profoundly didn't see.  Other half sighed rather as Mrs Payne stared at the mobility scooter in fury.  Considered after some moments regards Mrs Payne's request, as held out my hand, saying optimistically,
"Would you like your driving gloves now?"

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