Monday, 11 March 2013

Day 266

Frightfully shocked yesterday as stood on scales for first time in positively years and gazed at dial showing quite horrifying weight.  Explained this to other half and Mrs Payne after dinner, at which other half declared I was "getting a bit round", adding by the by, had I eaten two helpings of dessert?  Thought this decided rough and said as much.

Quite some discussion ensued as to quantity of toast consumed, at which admitted had been eating rather a lot.  Other half positively seized up on this, declaring loudly,
"Right, you're on rations!"  Replied this positively ridiculous had merely to cut down a little, did not want to waste away.  Mrs Payne shifted rather on sofa, exclaimed with a little 'oof',
"You do eat a fearful lot, Robert."  Said with some annoyance that certainly took the biscuit, at which Mrs Payne said optimistically,
"Biscuits?"

Came downstairs this morning to find a solitary slice of bread upon my plate, Mrs Payne explaining with some amusement,
"Rations!"  Put the slice into toaster with disappointment, and whilst waiting looked around, saying with much annoyance,
"Where's the butter!"
Quite ignored Mrs Payne as she began uttering "ra..", other half kindly declaring had put a bit on plate.  At this exclaimed with some annoyance as to being positively microscopic, seeing on Mrs Payne's plate quite mountain of the product.  Queried as to Mrs Payne not being on rations, at which explained with much pleasure whilst buttering liberally,
"I'm on double rations!"

At my dry toast in silence.

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