Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Day 267

Went to coffee shop this morning by way of cheering oneself up.  Diet quite fearful and bound to say altogether worse as Mrs Payne eating more than ever.  Queried as to cutting down herself, at which Mrs Payne exclaimed as helped herself to seconds of pudding, was eating not an atom more than necessary.  Declared that jolly rich!  Mrs Payne saying with pleasure,
"It is rather!"

Had not even got to coffee shop as met Horseface, saying with fearful brightness what jolly day it was.  Declared it decided not, at which Horseface queried with some amusement,
"I say, Robert!  Cheer up!  Has Bitty sat on your favourite hat?"  Mrs Payne most displeased at this.  Terribly amused.

Explained as walked to coffee shop regards diet, at which Horseface explained could not think of having milky coffee, think of calories!  Declared was concerned not a jot for this, at which Mrs Payne, still displeased regards hat joke, said would be forced to tell daughter "for my own good".  Positively furious as stalked into coffee shop first, Horseface cantering after, saying brightly,
"Wait up!  I'll order!"

Bound to say understood barely jot of Horseface's order, positive stream of no-fat-this, and extra-froth that.  Quite horrified as paid three pounds for the item, made worse by purchasing Mrs Payne's also, in quite largest of mugs such that queried might she like bucket instead.  This duly declined, Mrs Payne said would certainly like cake though, adding quietly as surveyed counter,
"Now, which is largest.."
Mrs Payne taking fearful amount of time to decide, queried coffee chap as to low fat options.  At this chap explained had low fat cookie, might I like that?  Declared it highly unlikely, would take one all the same.  Positively frightful as this was put on plate, quite size of dessert spoon and a pound into the bargain.  Mrs Payne having decided by way of largest being Victoria sponge, looked at my treat, saying with amusement,
"I say, the size of that, I don't know why you're bothering!" adding as her Victoria sponge was shovelled onto plate,
"Oh yes, lovely!"

All sat down, and talked to Horseface as Mrs Payne ate cake in silence, occasionally nibbling crumbs from my tiny biscuit.  Horseface soon asked regards my coffee, at which declared had not got to coffee yet.  Horseface nodded approvingly,
"That's the froth!  Ever so low fat!"
Drank my coffee with dismay.  You could really taste the low fat.

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