Thursday, 18 April 2013

Day 284

Spent positively whole afternoon yesterday bucketing water out of pond, terribly in danger of toppling over flooding water onto garden.  Mrs Payne quite absent from this having declared again with sorrow,
"I would help, but my wellingtons.."  Exclaimed in annoyance was not wearing wellingtons myself, was quite ridiculous excuse.  This quite ignored by Mrs Payne, presently overseeing proceedings from kitchen window, adding at some volume after a time,
"I say, you're not making very much progress!"

Other half most disappointed with pond when home, propped up with bins and still half full of water.  Bound to say was altogether tired, at which other half said I was a dear, thanked me warmly for the pond, would be ever so enjoyable when finished!  At this other half add brightly,
"Oh, I say!  I've got something for you!"  Returning after some moments later with box in arms, Mrs Payne following, adding petulantly,
"Why does Robert get a gift and I don't!"

Most curious as opened box, revealing rather floral wellington boots, at which queried as to rather not being my style, or size.  Other half positively delighted with this, exclaiming innocently was a frightful clot, terribly sorry, might they suit someone else?  Bound to say this awfully amusing as played along, saying with disappointment,
"I say, Mrs Payne, these wellingtons aren't my size or style, might you like them?"  At this other half positively rolled around laughing as Mrs Payne said furiously,
"Don't think I don't see what you've done here!" and taking the box in much annoyance sat on bench to don the items, other half saying in excitement,
"I say, they're just your size!"

Mrs Payne carefully tottered around garden in her wellingtons, saying with annoyance,
"I suppose you want me to help!"  At this other half and I exclaimed in horror,
"No!" as with a powerful "oof!" Mrs Payne yanked garden waste bin propping up pond, causing scream from other half, promptly jumped on bench, and as pond toppled over quite torrent of water splashed around garden.   Positively gallons of water rushed over legs and garden shoes, and as water drained away Mrs Payne looked at ground, lifting feet several times, saying proudly,
"Well my wellingtons work!"  At this Mrs Payne looked at me, quite frozen to the spot with fury and positively soaked to the knee, as added with surprise,
"I say, Robert, I should put your wellingtons on!"

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